Maximizing Our Social Media Impact–Having the “Right” Friends

Yes this is really me with Sandra Brown (before the restraining order kicked in :P). And I look like a ghost who’s haunting her. Cell phone cameras. Ptth!

Over the past couple of weeks, we have been talking about the unique nature of marketing books and the equally unique challenges this can present to writers…who need to market yet still need time to write great books. I can always tell when there has been a major conference, namely because the Twitterverse comes alive with writers (usually the agented ones) in a total panic trying to barter a kidney for anyone who can find them a cloning machine. What has happened?

They likely attended a social media class, or worse…their publisher did.

The inherent problem in this is that much of the social media being taught (even at writers’ conferences) not only won’t sell books, but it is a formula for a writer to end up with a nervous breakdown. I have made it my life’s work to create a social media approach that is not only more effective than my competitors’ approaches, but my methods are designed to harnesses the creativity of an author and also leave time to write.

Last week we talked about getting sticky, and why you need to run out at the very first opportunity and buy Malcom Gladwell’s Book The Tipping Point after you get a copy of my book, of course :D.

Gladwell’s book affirms much of what I have been teaching for years about social media.

I am not happy writing blogs or a book that simply tells you guys what to do. Here is a checklist and have fun. That approach is only minimally helpful. I want you guys to understand WHY you are or aren’t doing certain things. This way, if Twitter blows up and G+ devours Facebook, you won’t have to wait for me, your social media expert to tell you what to do next. You will be empowered to think for yourselves and adjust accordingly in ways that will keep your platform intact and expanding.

I want you guys powerful, not paralyzed.

Anyway, back to our marketing…

We all need to strive for what I call The Sticky Author Triumvirate. It doesn’t matter if our message reaches a hundred million people. If our message doesn’t translate into action, it is wasted time. Stickiness makes the difference and we need to be Sticky Authors, Sticky with Social Media, and Write Sticky Books. If we master one but not the other two, we will do well. If we master 2 out of 3? Even better. But the real key to success is mastery of all three.

This is one of the reasons it is so critical to write great books. Great books, by nature are sticky, but alone, they are not enough. Now that everyone can be published, relying on a great book alone is playing craps with our career. We have ALWAYS been in control of writing great books and we had a 93% failure rate to show for it (per BEA statistics). Now in the Digital Age, we finally can get sticky on ALL sides so there is NO getting rid of us. We are gonna be triple-sided duct-tape (yes, I invented a new duct tape dimension—we will be STICKY DEFINED).

Ah….but here is where the panic set in last week.

What???? *twitching eye* I need hobbies and friends outside of writers? How do I get one of those? Are they on eBay?

Yes, we need all the friends we can get, but don’t get lured in by sites promising to get you a bazillion followers/”friends.” Also, more is not actually, well, more. Just because someone has 22,000 people following them on Twitter doesn’t mean this person is effective. In fact, in my experience, this kind of person is generally less effective because the network is not comprised of the right kind of people.

Quality trumps quantity. Not all connections have the same weight. So the cool news today is that you don’t have to go make a bazillion friends. You just need a handful of the “right” friends. It’s the old adage, It’s not what you know, it’s WHO you know. That is truer now than ever in human history.

Who are the right kinds of friends? There are three kinds of people that can make the difference between life and death for our message (book, idea, fashion trend, product, etc.) especially in the Digital Age, and we will talk about them more in a moment.

One of the reasons that the traditional blast out an automated message on social media approach doesn’t work is that it separates the writer from the social media experience. To get connected to the right people, we need to be present so we can pay attention.

Say I am new to Twitter. My name is Suzy Newgirl and I have 10 followers and at least half of them are bots. The other five are members of my writing group and they are in the same situation. Our networks are almost insignificant.

For example, even though the very first fax machine cost $2000, it was pretty much worthless. Why? Who was the owner going to fax? There were no other fax machines. The machine only began to grow in value as more people bought fax machines capable of recieving, repackaging and then resending messages.

Same with a social media network. A person with 5 followers doesn’t yet have a lot of value to her network. How can Suzy Newgirl increase the value of her network? She needs to connect to one of three kinds of people (per Gladwell):

A Connector

A Maven

A Salesman

These three people have ALWAYS been responsible for word of mouth epidemics; we just didn’t have the unprecedented access to meeting them that we now have. The awesome part about social media is it is like a giant honey trap for these types of people. The Connector, the Maven, and the Salesman are generally intensely social people and they are drawn to social sites like a mosquito to a bug light.

ZZZZZZZAPPPP! Ouch!

If we pay attention on social media long enough, it is almost a guarantee we will meet these sorts of people. And, if we can fold them into our network, we significantly increase the odds our message will become an epidemic . Suzy Newgirl might only have ten people in her network, but if her Friend Number 11 is one of these three types of people? She just took her social power to an entirely new level.

Now I hope you are seeing where numbers lie when it comes to social media. There are publishers giving their writers a hard time because, Author Such and Such has 30,000 followers. Why don’t you? You need to get on Twitter and follow more people!

This is part of what is making writers lose their hair.

But the numbers alone are not enough. If we have thousands of Suzy Newgirls in our network, then that is akin to being able to fax 1000 other broken fax machines. They might be able to receive messages, but the message dies there.

This is part of the working smarter, not harder. We don’t need to make ten thousand friends to reach ten thousand people. I actually have the potential to reach 10,000 people with just four friends (psst…they hang out on #MyWANA a lot cuz they are social butterflies). So, today’s tip is that we need to actually spend time on social media. Not a lot of time, but meaningful time. Pay attention. Who is active? Who is social? These are the people that make the best friends to have in life and on-line.

If we disappear off Facebook for days and weeks or only tweet when we need something, we miss out on meeting these generous and wonderful people that can make the critical difference in our careers. We don’t need to take our career to the next level…we just need to meet the person who knows the person who gives us the opportunity.

A quick example. I am not particularly a fan of Facebook. I like it, but it isn’t fast enough for my ADD nature. Yet, I still post regularly on Facebook. Three times a day I scroll down the News Feed and look for at least TWO people I can congratulate, encourage, make smile, repost, SOMETHING. At the end of the day it isn’t a lot of time invested. BUT, an enthusiastic romance writer DeeDee Scott happens to be a Maven.

DeeDee not only is highly connected, she has this intense desire to serve and help..and she totally DIGS Facebook. I had reposted stuff for her and been social simply to serve and be kind. Thus, early in 2011, when a friend of hers asked for suggestions to speak on a panel at the Romantic Times Conference in Los Angeles, she immediately recommended me…even though we had only chit-chatted on FB.

That opportunity was a massive turning point in my career. I went to LA, ended up quoted in the LA Times, met a bunch of NY Times and LA Times best-selling authors, and my career literally leapt to  a totally new level that, on my own, I would never have had access to….without the help of a Maven.

We will talk more about those in another blog. So, what do you take away from this? Be kind. Be social. Be vested. Part of the reason DeeDee recommended me was because I was one of the only social media experts who wasn’t a spammer. I’d actually talked to her and acted authentically (this is being Sticky). She remembered that, so when the opportunity presented itself, DeeDee knew just who to recommend…and I cannot thank her enough.

Any social media expert that sells you a bill of goods about how this or that program can tweet for you or post for you really isn’t doing you a favor. That is busy work that looks good on the surface. It’s activity with no productivity.

In the coming weeks, I am going to talk more about these three kinds of message-bearers—the Connector, the Maven and the Salesman. How can you find them? Befriend them? (And NOT in a spammy self-serving way). This is also one of the reasons it pays to be kind to everyone. Kindness is always the best policy.

Again, this is one of those things that’s simple…but not exactly easy. Yet, at the end of the day, this method will help you make the most out of your time on social media. Instead of being a hamster in a wheel tweeting into the abyss and “hoping” something sticks, you will be able to increase your odds that something will not only stick…but will set fire ;).

So what are some of the challenges you face when it comes to social media? Any tips, suggestions, advice. Hey, I love hearing from you guys and learning from you.

And to prove it and show my love, for the month of September, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of September I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Note: GRAND PRIZE WILL BE PICKED THIS MONTH. I am keeping all the names for a final GRAND, GRAND PRIZE of 30 Pages (To be announced at the end of September) OR a blog diagnostic. I look at your blog and give feedback to improve it. For now, I will draw weekly for 5 page edit, monthly for 15 page edit.

In the meantime, I hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . Both books are ON SALE for $4.99!!!! And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in th biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left over to write more great books! I am here to change your approach, not your personality.

Mash Up of Awesomeness

Eleven Deadly Sins of On-Line Promotion for Writers –YES!!! *claps hands*

Great resource for those interested in writing for children.

Who has the right to say you suck? by the brilliant and hilarious Tawna Fenske. BUY HER BOOK, Making Waves.

How a Perfectionist Learned to Bear her Warts by the wonderful Jody Hedlund. She is guest-posting for one of my all-time favorite people, Katie Ganshert. If you want great Christian Romance and can afford to lose a day glued to your couch turning pages, then buy Jody’s new book The Doctor’s Lady.

25 Things You Should Know About Queries, Synopses and Treatments by the genius Chuck Wendig. BUY ALL HIS BOOKS AND LISTEN TO HIM. He is not only insanely funny, but his advice is some of THE BEST in the industry.

What Can Writers Learn from Spam? by Jami Gold

Therese Walsh has an awesome post over on Writer Unboxed (subscribe to this blog if you haven’t already). Internal and External Inspirations

Has Rejection Turned You Into Someone You’re Not? by Jane Friedman (This is another critical blog to follow to keep your fingers on the pulse of our industry)

There are so MANY more wonderful blogs, but I have run out of time. I will make it up next week!

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  1. #1 by JM Randolph on September 7, 2011 - 10:24 am

    This post is the very reason I’m loving your books and your blog. You give clear suggestions which are easy to implement, and you give the why’s and how’s behind them. I’m always encouraged by what you post because I feel like even the small changes I can make are taking me somewhere. Thanks for the boost this morning.

    • #2 by Author Kristen Lamb on September 7, 2011 - 10:26 am

      The simplest answers are usually the correct ones :D. I hope you will pass this on to your writer peeps. We are not alone! *happy dance*

      Here is to being powerful!

  2. #3 by Miranda Hardy on September 7, 2011 - 10:28 am

    It’s not easy to be constantly active on all the social medias, but I understand the value. Great post. Thank you.

    • #4 by Author Kristen Lamb on September 7, 2011 - 10:33 am

      The most successful people are the ones willing to work the hardest. Actually, it doesn’t take as much time as people believe it does. I blog, tweet and participate on Facebook. Aside from writing of the actual blogs, my total time on social media per day is maybe 15-40 minutes. It is about working smarter, not harder and my book will give you tools to be present and vested without it taking all day :D.

  3. #5 by shawn on September 7, 2011 - 10:34 am

    Brilliant, and when is Sandra Brown coming for dinner?

  4. #6 by Jessica O'Neal on September 7, 2011 - 10:35 am

    This post totally made me breath easier! I have been resisting the impulse to just try to follow hundreds of random people in the hopes that they follow me back to increase my numbers and instead have been following people that interest me and I have interacted with. But it is a sloooooow process. Thank you for reminding me why this slower method is a better method! Looking forward to the next installments on Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen!

  5. #7 by K.C. Woolf on September 7, 2011 - 10:44 am

    Great post, Kristen, thank you. Quality over quantity, in all aspects of life.

  6. #8 by Gene Lempp on September 7, 2011 - 10:46 am

    Love cell phone cameras. I took a moon shot one morning, beautiful view through tree limbs, clouds misting over the surface and it came out looking like a glorified burning street lamp. Ah well, if you are going to haunt someone, Kristen, Sandra Brown is a good choice :)

    You are right on target about having the right kind of friends. When I first came on to Twitter, I immediately latched on to the few bloggers I knew at the time and followed your advice. Six months later I have more friends then I can count which isn’t bad for someone that stayed to the shadows for years (men do love their quiet caves after all). Thanks for all the great advice and care you give to us. It has and continues to make a world of difference.

  7. #9 by Prudence MacLeod on September 7, 2011 - 10:52 am

    Hi there, I have been following your blog posts for a while now and have learned a great deal. I am also feeling guilty as hell and will be buying a copy of We Are Not Alone before the day is out. Thanks so much for all you do.

    Prudence

    http://www.prudencemacleod.com/

  8. #10 by Barbara McDowell on September 7, 2011 - 10:53 am

    Making us “powerful without being paralyzed” is exactly why your method, books and online class are fantastic! It is about realistic steps we can do as writers without reinventing ourselves into fake media hounds. I heard a “run out and do this, this and this” speech at a conference once and it froze me. It killed the spirit of my blogging and made me squirrelly.

  9. #11 by Jami Gold on September 7, 2011 - 10:53 am

    Thanks for the link! And you’ll notice that my post even talks about some of this same stuff, in that building a “brand” – that isn’t really us – is *not* helpful. :)

    Your advice here is awesome. I think it comes down to this: Find the right kind of friends by *being* the right kind of friend. :)

  10. #12 by Annalise Green on September 7, 2011 - 10:57 am

    So I devoured both your books, made a Twitter account, and eventually opened a blog. And in 2 1/2 weeks of running a blog, I already feel like I have a small audience of people who regularly comment, RT things, mention me in their blogs, ect. I have no idea if they’re any of the 3 types that you mentioned, but emotionally? It’s pretty cool. And I think they do it because I do it for them and because they like my posts! And I did THAT because I used your approach and it really WORKS.

    In terms of social media problems…well, I’m still learning to balance it. Right now I think I’m spending too much aimless time on it; I need to learn how to be more effective. I’m chalking this up to being new to the game, and I’m going to make some concentrated efforts to cut down on my online time and be like a laser pointer during my online time. :D

    But discovering you and social media has been like a personal Renaissance for me. It’s taught me to take myself seriously as a writer. I think that’s pretty special!

  11. #13 by forbiddenhero on September 7, 2011 - 11:01 am

    Thanks for the advice. It’s something that I’ve really wanted to work on, and I’m still not completely there. I am starting to get up on things though, and it’s a really good idea for me to get an outside look at my story…I just got to page 30, so…that happened. xD

  12. #14 by catwoods on September 7, 2011 - 11:08 am

    Thanks again for a great post. I need to get crackin’ on smartness!

  13. #15 by Sadie Hart on September 7, 2011 - 11:12 am

    One of the challenges I’m facing, on Twitter mainly, is just how many people out there who follow you and want to be followed back. It gets so overwhelming, SO fast. My head just spins every time I look at my Twitter feed.

  14. #16 by CC MacKenzie on September 7, 2011 - 11:19 am

    Hi Kristen

    Great advice. Learning a new skill set takes time but it also takes practice. No one excels at anything unless they put in quality time to be great. Social networking and writing come under a similar skill set, imho. We need discipline, focus and targeted goals.

    Easy to say and hard to do due to the fact we’re human and imperfect. But that also works the other way, we can hit the mother load and take off. Perhaps we need to keep our minds open to new opportunities. If we’re not looking they’ll pass us by.

    Thank you for helping us look for the right stuff in the right way.

  15. #17 by Sheila Seabrook on September 7, 2011 - 11:30 am

    It’s true … Dee Dee Scott is a maven. I’ve been following her since she started the WG2E blog http://thewritersguidetoepublishing.com/ and am awed by her committment to share with others. Kind of like you do, Kristen. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you both for your advise and common sense on tackling so many issues related to social media and indie publishing. :)

  16. #18 by Susan in the Boonies on September 7, 2011 - 11:54 am

    Kindness is that simple! But not exactly easy, for sure. You’re exactly right! That’s just what I blogged about today: what a coinkydink!

    (I just used 3 exclamation points in one comment try not to hold it against me.)

  17. #19 by Anne R. Allen on September 7, 2011 - 12:01 pm

    Brilliant post. I’m going to quote you like mad in my talk to the Central Coast Writers Conference next week. (Now I have to revise that talk–sigh–but it’s worth it. You’ve said it better than I can.)

  18. #20 by August McLaughlin on September 7, 2011 - 12:01 pm

    Sounds like a win-win. Offer kindness and make friends while building your platform. MUCH better than pushy sales-style marketing we writers love to hate.

    Thanks for yet another fabulous post, Kristen!

  19. #21 by Nicole Basaraba on September 7, 2011 - 12:03 pm

    I like the sound of efficiency. I can spend a few hours reading blogs, watching TweetDeck roll and checking Facebook before I even noticed how much time has passed. Now I just have to stop surfing the social media platforms and be productive! Thanks Kristen.

  20. #22 by Leslie Smith Doan (@leslieinlr) on September 7, 2011 - 12:27 pm

    Hello Kristen!

    I just discovered your blog recently via twitter and I have really enjoyed your posts.

    I completed my first blog last night and I credit you and others I’ve read on twitter.

    Thanks again!

  21. #23 by kerrymeacham on September 7, 2011 - 12:36 pm

    Great advice Kristen. I’ve met so many great tweeps since you introduced me to Twitter through WWBC. It really is a great place to get advice and resources for writing. Thanks so much.

  22. #24 by Maryann Miller on September 7, 2011 - 1:09 pm

    Love the picture of you and Sandra. I was in a writer’s group with her years ago in Dallas. She still remembers “The Hacks” as we called ourselves, and she is always most gracious to me when we meet at a conference.

    I am still on the upward climb of my learning curve with all the social media outlets, and I have a question about Twitter perhaps you can answer. I asked Twitter help and their answer was not helpful at all. How does one go beyond the limit of following only 2,000 people? When I reach that number, I can no longer follow back when someone follows me. Does it have to do with the ratio between followers and those you follow?

    • #25 by Author Kristen Lamb on September 7, 2011 - 1:12 pm

      Twitter makes you keep a certain ratio. This is to keep the spam bots away. I would advise that you log into Twitter Karma and unfollow any dead weight (bots). This will free you up somewhat. Then, come hang out on #MyWANA and just tweet your dilemma. Use your networks to help increase followers. Most writers will follow you back so long as you aren’t a bot a spammer or a troll. We have to work as a team.

  23. #26 by Stephanie Scott on September 7, 2011 - 1:10 pm

    Great advice. I have a bunch of new geek friends to my arsenal thanks to stalking, er perusing the #dragoncon feed. Now my twitter feed is so much more fun! IT’s not just book talk it’s movies, gaming and a bunch of star wars commentary which I love. (also I took your advice and changed my twitter name to my real name- thanks!)

    In the thumbnail I thought that pic was you with Mary Tyler Moore and I almost went crazy. MTM = adore

  24. #27 by ddscott on September 7, 2011 - 2:13 pm

    Oh my gosh, Kristen!

    You’ve got me bawlin’ like a big ‘ole baby!!!

    Nothin’ beats payin’ it forward for me, and when I had the opportunity that day at RT10 in Ohio, I knew just who to recommend for RT11 in LA!

    U rock, Kristen! Thank u sooo much for everything you’ve taught me and for payin’ it forward with gusto!!!

  25. #28 by Pj Schott on September 7, 2011 - 2:37 pm

    Wonderful story. Someone gets it. Isn’t DeeDee Scott the bee’s knees?

  26. #29 by David N. Walker on September 7, 2011 - 2:38 pm

    Keep putting the message out there. Some of us are slow learners.

  27. #30 by consuelo saah baehr on September 7, 2011 - 2:57 pm

    First time on your blog. I’m delighted with the clear, concise information. I learned something that I will not forget and will use (probably every day). Thank you.

  28. #31 by Renee Schuls-Jacobson on September 7, 2011 - 4:45 pm

    So are you saying I don’t have to be chained to Twitter? I can work the social media I prefer? That actually never occurred to me. I can repost fabulous blogs from other folks on my FB page where I have lots of good friends. People I really know. Twitter still feels hard to work into my day. Huh. Who knew?!

  29. #32 by Lynn Kelley on September 7, 2011 - 4:56 pm

    You always have the best analogies that make so much sense. Your success story involving DeeDee recommending you is inspiring and just goes to show that a little bit of kindness goes a long way. Since I started blogging and now tweeting, I haven’t been good about keeping up with FaceBook. Your suggestion to comment to two people or repost is great advice. I can handle that, for sure. I agree with David about some of us being slow learners. I’m reading through WANA for the second time. Slowly but surely I’m implementing your recommendations. It’s so nice to have some direction, and I love your blog posts and how you reinforce what you say in your books.

  30. #33 by alicamckennajohnson on September 7, 2011 - 5:07 pm

    Okay I think I know what to look for now. There are a few people I chat with on a more honest leval and those of twitter who rt everyone and replay to everyone- they’ll have twenty posts in a row and I scroll right by what they post because it’s just too much, I’m sure I’m missing their posts, but I don’t have the time or desire to wade through the muck.

  31. #34 by Jolyse Barnett on September 7, 2011 - 5:20 pm

    Thanks for the FB suggestion. I’ve been unsure whether just trying to make connections with people a little at a time was the right thing to do. I much prefer Twitter; but Facebook has a lot of great people, too.

  32. #35 by Jessica Aspen on September 7, 2011 - 6:33 pm

    Missed being sticky yesterday, I’ll have to jump back and check it out. I always learn so much from you! Glad you met a maven early in your career!

  33. #36 by eric mosley on September 7, 2011 - 6:48 pm

    Hi Kristen; I used to think all this social media stuff was for kids. Now I feel like the more I learn about social media the farther behind I’m getting but I’m loving your book and your blog. My whole purpose in writing and learning about social media is to help others (emotionally, not with social media) and I really appreciate what you are doing. I linked back to you from my blog (http://eric-mosley.com/blog/) even though I don’t have a following… yet. Thank you!

  34. #37 by andrewmocete on September 7, 2011 - 6:49 pm

    I really liked this one. I definitely have some of these friends and until now, I had no name for them except for awesome.

    I’m in a situation where my internet time is limited and if I wanted to tweet about a new post, I’d have to wait until I was home from work. But with just a few friends with more access and larger networks than mine, the word is spread. It’s quite amazing when social can work for you in such a fun and friendly way.

  35. #38 by susielindau on September 7, 2011 - 7:14 pm

    I am so late to class today, but found a seat in the last row. Whew!
    Excellent advice on the continuing subject of stickiness. I like your idea about Facebook. I wish I could see who is coming over from there. I am starting to get the hang of Twitter. It is hard to get readers to my blog at WP so I tweet my blog only to hear the sound of crickets. I am sure that when I have followers on Twitter in the thousands instead of 300 my percentages will go up….
    Great advice-
    I could relate to Suzy in more than one way. Great name! Hahaha!

  36. #39 by catemorgan on September 7, 2011 - 7:16 pm

    OMG some of us were just lamenting about how to launch a first book without resorting to Author Spams-a-lot. There’s a plethora of info out there on getting published, but tidbits on what to do when you’re ABOUT to be published or JUST BEEN. Thank you for this! A little direction is just what this little writer-monkey needed. :-) :-) :-)

  37. #40 by Anne Parris on September 7, 2011 - 8:11 pm

    Great post and as applicable in real life as it is in social media.
    Chloe Jeffreys sent me!

  38. #41 by Phantomimic on September 7, 2011 - 8:32 pm

    I agree that who you know is important, but I know of people who have gone for quantity building up networks of tens of thousands of followers and, as far as I can tell, it works for them. I will use the analogy of chess computers. The old school chess players argued computers would never be successful because they rely on tactics and don’t understand strategy. However as it turned out, being able to analyze millions of moves in advance effectively reduced strategy to tactics. Similarly, don’t you think that the “who you know” rule can be overcome just by sheer numbers of followers?

    • #42 by Author Kristen Lamb on September 8, 2011 - 7:29 am

      Oh sure it can, but most writers don’t have the time to gain followings of 30,000 Twitter, FB and G+ followers without severe redundancy…and it taking a HUGE chunk out of writing time. The approach of volume is viable, but not nearly as fun or reliable. If those networks tank like MySpace, then the writer is forced to start all over since the following is not likely very loyal.

  39. #43 by Piper Bayard on September 7, 2011 - 10:26 pm

    Great blog, Kristen. I find I meet lots of great tweeps just by being nice. I try to always be sincerely positive and kind, and folks are generally kind enough to respond likewise.

  40. #44 by Jess Witkins on September 7, 2011 - 10:26 pm

    I’m definitely guilty of not putting in the face on the facebook time. I have my blog auto-publish there, but it’s hard to manage all the types to an expert level. I owe a big thank you to Clay and Piper for being the twitter peeps that got me going. I am currently working on being as good a twitter friend as people have been to me. I love when they send my stuff out, so I want to do that too.

  41. #45 by Donna Amis Davis on September 8, 2011 - 12:51 am

    Thanks Kristen! I wrote 2000 words today, so I can have those 30 pages ready when you draw my name, smile. Seriously, though, your suggestions are so helpful. My husband and I decided to recently ‘friend’ some additional people on FB, and felt sort of mercenary doing it, but it has already opened up new opportunities to be kind to some of them. Who knew? I’m just now getting the hang of Twitter a little better, thanks to some of your suggestions, too.

  42. #46 by Cat on September 8, 2011 - 1:57 am

    Thanks a ton for this article. It’s so much better phrased than John Locke’s (He has this salesman way of writing that I just can’t stand). I’ll check out your book asap.

  43. #47 by Amy Durham on September 8, 2011 - 4:33 am

    I totally love your blog. You make Twitter make sense to me, and I never thought I’d “get it”. Such practical ideas and solutions! Thanks!!!

  44. #48 by Jessica Thomas on September 8, 2011 - 9:10 am

    I appreciate your quality not quantity approach. I have an aversion to numbers goals on facebook and twitter. It’s just never seemed right to me to go into both with the mindset of “how many ‘friends’ can I get.” I sort of want to know the people I’m friending or following…otherwise, I’m not sure there’s a point. Plus, when someone on Twitter follows me, I go check how many followers they have and how many people they follow. If they are in the 20K to 30K range, I usually don’t follow back, because I know there’s no way they can truly manage all those people. There are exceptions of course. Celebrities. Super important people. But if it’s just an average Joe Blow, that’s when I start to get suspicious.

  45. #49 by Marie Loughin on September 8, 2011 - 3:50 pm

    Thanks for the vindication! I was dragged to Twitter, leaving deep fingernail scars in the hardwood. The thought of trying to follow thousands to sell a few books (not yet published) sucked the joy out the prospect of publishing. When I finally signed up, I resolved to follow only people who posted meaningful content. I periodically clean out folks who only post advertisements. If they unfollow me in return, so what? They were no fun to hang out with and unlikely to buy my future book, anyway.

  46. #50 by Julie Musil on September 8, 2011 - 4:13 pm

    Holy cow, Sandra Brown! LOOOOOVE her books. Thanks for this awesome post. It’s cool to work with other writers and help each other. It’s nice to be a giver, not only a taker.

  47. #51 by Catherine Johnson on September 8, 2011 - 6:47 pm

    I read an interesting social media post the other day about the same thing, quality over quantity and they said Chris Brogan stirred up Twitter over mass de-friending people. It said you have to search out the right networks not just someone who will follow you back. The thing is is it rude to not follow back if they don’t seem spammy? How niche-like should we be? After all whatever profession you are in you likely have children who read.

  48. #52 by Su on September 9, 2011 - 6:51 pm

    I am a new fan. I finished your book We Are Not Alone last week and had a new blog up a few days later. My first post was about your book. Seriously. It was easy to read and just made so much sense. I haven’t gotten my author pages done yet, that’s next. But now I have a much clearer sense on where to begin. I’ve got your second book on order and am looking forward to learning more. Thanks Kristen. You rock!
    Su

  49. #53 by Marilag Lubag on September 11, 2011 - 3:55 am

    Awesome! I’d like to know more about this. Who’s a connector? A maven? A salesman? Can’t wait to find out. :-)

  50. #54 by Jenny Lee Sulpizio (@JennySulpizio) on September 11, 2011 - 6:17 pm

    Love, Love, Love these posts and find them so amazingly helpful. Thank you, Kristen for the wealth of info!!!

    Blessings!

  51. #55 by Kecia Adams Dilday on September 14, 2011 - 8:46 am

    HI Kristen,
    Thanks truly for advocating kindness in social interactions. IMO, because the interface takes away a major portion of communication, that is, the non-verbal cues, we can sometimes come off much more harsh than we intend with our posts, blogs, and rants. “Be kind” will be my new social networking watch word. :) So, here’s my technical issue: how do I cross-post between my FB author page and my FB profile? I’ve combed the FB help files, but can’t find the how-to on that…heading to my Kindle to download your books! Thanks again.

    Kecia

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