The Power of Facebook, Friendship & Why We Shouldn’t Use a Nail Gun to Slice a Pork Roast

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Yesterday we started talking about Facebook and ways to make friends and influence enemies. Just so y’all know, the writer who insulted me is now a peep. We kept talking. I apologized for having the skin of a grape and this person told me I was right and they had NO idea the tone of the message was as insulting as it was.

We chatted about social media and WANA ways and had a blast, and it was awesome to make a new friend. This writer felt super bad. But, I mentioned that it all worked out for the better because, had I not been insulted, we would never have talked and gotten to know how much we had in common (though I do not recommend insulting people to make friends).

See, told you guys sometimes tough love is in order ;).

So What’s the Deal?

I believe most of the problems with writers mishandling Facebook stems from a failure to understand how Facebook works. Between urban legends and plain dumb social media advice, writers are inadvertently making social media WAY harder than it has to be because they are fracturing their focus and diffusing all their efforts.

Thus, today we are going to start doing a little myth busting.

My Friends and Family Don’t Care About Writing Stuff

Okay, friends and family, regular people? That is code for “READER.” Writers all create one big happy writer party and talk to each other, but writers can only buy so many books. And frankly?

We are oversold and worn out.

If we only include writers, our platforms can easily become inbred and then all they do is drink cheap beer and listen to Tammy Wynette….then start firing a shotgun in the air. Keep it up and your platform will bring home a bass boat.

Moving on…

It’s estimated that as much as 75% of the population believes they would one day love to write a book. This means THREE-FOURTHS of the population believes they are writers….even though they aren’t writing. So if we cut out regular people, we are actually just cutting out people fascinated by writers and writing. They LOVE writers, even if it is to be a fly on the wall and maybe catch on to how we create the magic.

Sure friends and family might give us a hard time about deciding to write, but often this is birthed by jealousy. They believe they have stories to tell, they just haven’t found the bravery to do it. They will often be the best salespeople we have, even if they don’t read what we write.

Okay, Even If They Don’t Care

Humans are a helpful bunch. How do we show love? We give unsolicited advice, provide solutions, and answer questions. If Aunt Lola doesn’t like vampire books, but a lady in her sewing circle complains that she needs to get a gift for her granddaughter who is slap-happy in LOVE with vampires? Who will Aunt Lola INSTANTLY think of?

This is called “word of mouth.”

quilters

But I Will Fill Up Their Feed With Stuff They Don’t Care About

Remember I said you need to understand how Facebook works? Facebook wants you to have as pleasant of an experience as possible because…um, then you show up and get addicted and let dinner burn because you’re too busy quoting Bruce Campbell on an Army of Darkness thread on Kristen’s wall.

Newsfeeds will only show content from people we have engaged with. So if your family or coworkers could give a flying patooty about writing? Odds are they are never “Liking” or commenting on those threads, so guess what? Your stuff eventually won’t appear in their news feeds (and never underestimate the modern human’s ability to ignore stuff that doesn’t interest them).

This is why fan pages can be a serious sticky wicket. We can’t engage with a monument to someone’s ego.

If all I am posting on my fan page is information about my book or signing events or promotions, it’s more of the advertising we are all scrambling to escape. Modern humans are BOMBARDED with ads and can’t even go to the BATHROOM without an ad shoved up our nose. For more on this, read my post:

Why Settle for Your Reader’s Wallet When You Can Get in Her PANTS?

We don’t like ads. We don’t share them and we cannot connect with them. We are also in an age of information GLUT. How many of you woke up this morning and thought, “You know what I need? More crap to READ!” I hear social media experts tell writers to provide information. Be experts. Post links to articles.

For the love of chocolate, NO!

No offense, but novelists are not experts, you are storytellers. 

The blunt truth is that if we need to know something we will google it. But aside from that, I want to point out something VERY IMPORTANT. Information connects on the LEFT side of the brain, the analytical side. FICTION, however, is emotional.

***This works for NF writers, too, btw.

HOW EFFECTIVE IS IT TO SELL A RIGHT-BRAIN PRODUCT WITH A LEFT-BRAIN APPROACH? That makes no sense. Even home insurance commercials try to connect with emotion. They don’t pay for a thirty minute commercial about statistics. They post THIS:

Let Us CARE

This is why it is especially important for fiction authors to engage. Connect emotionally. You have an emotional product. People can’t connect emotionally to yet another DBW article about how Barnes & Noble’s stock is tanking.

They CAN however connect to kittens, Sharknado, tales of missing socks, superheroes, kid stories, pet stories, Mayhem and Grumpy Cat. They have more to say about bacon than Smashwords or our book being free on KDP.

There are writers who seriously believe that Facebook is out to get them because their fan pages are being hidden. NO. It’s just that, in the Digital Age, there is a steep price for being boring.

It isn’t your job to visit my author page to pay homage to Kristen’s ego.

Engage us, talk to us, stop selling to us and guess what? We will like coming to your page. And we will have fun and “Like” stuff, comment and SHARE your content. Then guess what?

And this is the cool part.

Since people will enjoy hanging out and talking on your page?  Your fan page (or personal page) will show up in their news feeds. You won’t have to pay to promote. Awesome, right?

Common Sense

How many of you loooooove hanging out with people who won’t stop talking about themselves? What? No one? *crickets chirping*

So if this behavior isn’t a good idea for dating, the workplace or a dinner party, then why in the name of marshmallow peeps is this considered a good plan on social media? How many of you have a family member or friend who never talks to you unless she is selling Amway, Avon or vitamins?

Do we like those friends/family members? Or do we filter their calls?

Use the Tool, Don’t BE One

Facebook has over a BILLION active users so it is highly advantageous for authors to use it, but it’s a tool. We need to use tools properly or we will wear ourselves out and look stupid…like using a nail gun to slice a pork roast. Makes a mess, is ineffective and renders said victim pork roast inedible.

In my new book talk a lot more about Facebook and the advantages and disadvantages of both the personal page and fan page and how to manage them without ending up on a roof armed and shouting, “This is my BOOM-STICK!”

Lisa-Hall Wilson, our WANA Facebook expert will also have classes up at WANA International sometime today. Her classes are FANTASTIC and she is super generous with Facebook tips every Friday on the WANA International fan page.

So any AH-HA! moments? Thoughts, observations? Tales about using a nail gun to slice a pork roast? (Please include pictures).

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of July, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novelor your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

NOTE: My prior two books are no longer for sale, but I am updating them and will re-release. My new book, Rise of the Machines–Human Authors in a Digital World is NOW AVAILABLE.

At the end of July I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

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  1. #1 by moxeyns on July 17, 2013 - 10:13 am

    I haven’t got my head around how feeds are weighted at all yet. I guess I ought to go and buy your book :) Thanks for increasing my clue level, yet again.

  2. #2 by 1brelliott1 on July 17, 2013 - 10:15 am

    Hi Kristen, I didn’t get to read all of your article but there is much truth to who we are sharing or hoping to like our created pages, blogs, sites, whatever. If they aren’t sick, most have their own personal agendas that THEY want to share with others. And if others send you something to like or read or endorse and you don’t follow up on it, Guess What”!!! Not is their response to your request. Gotta run to an appt. Have a great day! That’s for everyone….

  3. #3 by Erica on July 17, 2013 - 10:16 am

    I’ve found that my primary (and most effective) reason for using any social media platform is to just say “hi.” That’s it. I just say hi. Much more engaging than cyber-screaming “I’m a pro! I’m a pro!” Because we’re not just typing to an anonymous screen; we’re talking to people. Living, breathing people.

    So, hi there. I really like your blog. And your Grumpy Cat meme. All hail Grumpy Cat. :)

  4. #4 by Michael on July 17, 2013 - 10:18 am

    Kristen, I salute you and your new writer friend for being good enough to approach each other with swords sheathed, and to find common ground. :)

  5. #5 by Amy Shojai, CABC on July 17, 2013 - 10:21 am

    Okay, I have to disagree with you on a teeensy-tiny-eensie bit of this. *s* I am an expert–on pets. And yes, now I’m into fictioning but my initial platform is nonfiction info-tainment about cats and dogs, so I do post links to articles. The key there, I believe, is to engage the folks not only on my blogs (where the articles are posted) but also on FB or Twitter or wherever. Instead of “lecturing” the tone is “sharing” info and asking the readers, “what did I miss? what’s your experience? please add to the conversation!”

    I agree that if all that’s posted is links, folks pretty much tune out. For me I get LOTS AND LOTS of engagement from pet people–heck, last weekend at Tfest nearly everyone I met wanted to talk about their cats and dogs!

    • #6 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 10:22 am

      Yeah, I should have been clearer. I mean don’t make that ALL YOU POST. People who give me a non-stop reading list just make my head explode. Thanks for clarifying and I agree. I share articles too, but also TALK TO PEOPLE.

    • #7 by Lisa Hall-Wilson on July 17, 2013 - 1:37 pm

      One problem I see a lot (not on your page but in general) is people either only posting links to their own blogs, or only posting outside links with no editorial comment that builds their credibility as an expert. When you start an author page and only post links to writing blogs, you’d better be writing for writers (as in craft books). Always provide value to your audience (which is exactly what you are doing). Just posting random photos or links without talking about why your audience should care or read the article basically amounts to a waste of time.

  6. #8 by Dennis Langley on July 17, 2013 - 10:22 am

    Okay, you’ve hit me in the head three times now. I’m beginning to get the picture, I think. Due to advice from another source, I created a fan page about six months ago and directed my my blog posts to that page vs my personal page. If I am hearing you correctly, which at my age is a distinct possibility, you are saying I should redirect those posts to my personal page and shut down the fan page for the foreseeable future.

    • #9 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 10:28 am

      I recommend using the personal page as LONG AS POSSIBLE. It provides greater intimacy and is essentially for creating that fan base. And if you don’t yet have a book for sale, you really don’t need the fan page (which is for commerce). Don’t shut it down, just engage more on the personal page. I have an author page, but spend 99% of my time on the personal page. Once I max out the 5000 friends, I can start guiding people over to the fan page if I want and just continue on. But redirecting 5000 people will give better results. Few things can turn us into cutters like three fans on our fan page.

      • #10 by Dennis Langley on July 17, 2013 - 10:32 am

        Makes sense. Thank you!!!

      • #11 by marsharwest on July 18, 2013 - 10:30 am

        Very interesting response here, Kristen. I have a fan page on FB recently set up by a fan. She said mostly it will be the people who read my book (VERMONT ESCAPE out tomorrow at MuseItUp Publishing). I can occasionally run a contest there. I don’t have an author page. That seemed to me to defeat what you’ve preached to let the reader see the real you. I’ve recommended your WE ARE NOT ALONE to lots of newbies struggling with this whole SM thing, especially the how to set up a blog part. Really invaluable. Ideas for how to use this fan page?

  7. #12 by Michael on July 17, 2013 - 10:22 am

    Erica, it sounds like you may be on the right track, at least according to the advice Kristen gives in Rise of the Machines. Being personable and being a “regular” person is far more effective than setting yourself apart.

  8. #13 by cynthiagrstacey on July 17, 2013 - 10:37 am

    OK Kristen I got it (hit myself on the head for being brain dead). Thanks for these articles on facebook cause they are a messy lot! I think I will go buy your book now…and talk to people on facebook and not ignore it!

    • #14 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 11:00 am

      It will make it more fun :D. And we are having a SHARKNADO party tomorrow evening *fist pump*

  9. #15 by cynthiagrstacey on July 17, 2013 - 10:38 am

    Reblogged this on Cynthia Stacey and commented:
    Follow up advice with facebook from Kristen Lamb, author of Rise of the Machines-Human authors in a Digital World.

  10. #16 by Joe Owens on July 17, 2013 - 10:52 am

    I am on Facebook and have been for a few years. I have a fair number of people Listed as Friends, but I do not understand enough how to engage those who are Friends with my writing. I would like to know more so I can utilize Facebook properly.

  11. #17 by broadsideblog on July 17, 2013 - 11:08 am

    Facebook — misused — is a terrific way to make people who might otherwise have liked you (not “liked” but actually felt some affection or respect for) hate you and wish you would STFU stat. A writer I know collegially, (who have never met, but same journalism circles) has spammed me on FB and in personal emails at least three times shilling for her writing workshop.

    Problems? 1) I plan to hold my own — so I am NOT her target market; 2) don’t be so freaking annoying! If I have not replied, ever, to your imprecations to pay you to learn the same skills I already have, it’s not going to happen. The more you annoy me, the less likely this will be.

  12. #18 by Debbie_e on July 17, 2013 - 11:15 am

    Thanks Kristen, that was a very useful post. Your reply to Dennis was very helpful too as I’m in a similar position to him and would have asked the same question.

  13. #19 by Lucy Lit on July 17, 2013 - 11:34 am

    Okay, love this post and I get using the personal page. What I am struggling with is that my first book (an erotic romance not yet published) will shock many of my friends, family and professional colleagues. Hubs wants me to publish under a pen name and keep all of this separate because he thinks it will damage my business. *head on desk* Just feeling overwhelmed with all this drama.

  14. #20 by Melissa Lewicki on July 17, 2013 - 11:34 am

    I enjoyed your first two books, but this newest book is incredibly helpful–especially regarding how to engage on Facebook. I am so happy you have published it! Will there be a hardcopy version in the future? I have highlighter ink smeared all over my Kindle….

  15. #21 by Diana Beebe on July 17, 2013 - 11:42 am

    Thanks for the great advice, Kristen! I’m glad to see that you and the writer became friends after talking it out. :-)

    Also, I’m so gonna try to make it to the SHARKNADO party. I read an interview of one of the actresses who said that they had fun making the ridiculous movie. It made me feel better to know that they didn’t think they were making something serious. LOL. It will be a movie no one ever forgets!

  16. #22 by William P Hunter on July 17, 2013 - 12:17 pm

    Ok, I know I have a lot of work to do to get my Facebook mess together BUT, it would be great if a Facebook superstar could write something that would help untangle the mess.

    …now for something completely different…bought your new book last night will start on it tomorrow.

  17. #24 by Jane Sadek on July 17, 2013 - 12:48 pm

    You do have to keep reminding people what you do. A facebook friend asked for restaurant recommendations recently and I felt a little cheesy about it, but I reminded her that I blog about restaurants and other DFW attractions every Monday. She didn’t even realize I blog, even though I autopost it to facebook and twitter three times a week. She loved the blog and followed it after her first visit. Just because you put it out there doesn’t mean anybody is noticing (except perhaps us social media networkers who notice everything). Or perhaps the real news is that you can put it out there all you want to, but until you give a person a reason to go there, ignoring it is no problem.

  18. #25 by Gerri Brousseau on July 17, 2013 - 1:14 pm

    Great post, Kristen. Your catchy titles are great and usually what attract me. Love your posts. Looking at Mayhem reminds me that every time I see one of those commercials I wonder if the actor ever gets hurt doing all those falls, etc.

  19. #26 by Linda Williams Stirling on July 17, 2013 - 1:29 pm

    Great post. Really helped to clarify things and gave me a different perspective of FB. When is Rise of the Machines going to be available in paper format? I’d really like to get a hard copy to keep in my reference library. Sorry about the burnt dinner, Kristen. But, really, if Bruce Campbell didn’t deliver the best cheesy lines with a perfectly arched eyebrow, there wouldn’t have been a problem. I have his biography, “If Chins Could Kill”, but haven’t read it yet. I think it will be full of cheesy goodness.

    • #27 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 2:16 pm

      I need to get his bio. I LOVE HIM! I am (hopefully) finishing the formatting for paper this week, so likely next week? *hopes, hopes, hopes*

  20. #28 by Agy WIlson (@agyw13) on July 17, 2013 - 1:36 pm

    Kristin, I really like these posts. I sometimes share them to my wall as you realize (My dirty little secret, is I post the stuff I find interesting, intriguing, funny, etc. it just happens to be other people’s stuff and I’m happy they shared with me. Giving them credit is easy to do, they make my life more interesting and look better too, lol). Anyhow, yeah, I wouldn’t mind the crit, if my computer gets fixed. But really, this is also a great opportunity to thank you on your home turf as well as in other places on the web.

  21. #29 by srtorris on July 17, 2013 - 3:26 pm

    So I don’t eat pork. What if I tried w/a pot roast instead?

  22. #31 by sharonhughson on July 17, 2013 - 4:51 pm

    Just getting to the chapter on Facebook in your latest book. I have the list of 10 steps for success from your book staring at me. I wanted to have my awesome bio ready to go before I tackle the Facebook thing.
    BTW, I had lunch with a friend who has been trying to get me to join Facebook forever. She laughed so hard when I told her I was doing it for my “author’s platform” that I thought she might shoot coffee through her nose. (Not laughing at the idea, just that I was finally getting a page). I am so going to have to eat my “No Facebook for me” words in many circles:(

    • #32 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 5:59 pm

      It’s a lot of fun. Always a party on my page. My followers are SO AWESOME. I seriously go through withdrawal on the road. And I used to be Eh about Facebook until Lisa convinced me to come to the Dark Side, LOL.

  23. #33 by Romy Sommer on July 17, 2013 - 4:53 pm

    I love Grumpy Cat! I just wish I’d discovered him sooner.

    • #34 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 17, 2013 - 5:59 pm

      Actually, believe it or not, Grumpy is a girl. Her name is Tardar Sauce :D. She SO ROCKS.

  24. #35 by danielocceno on July 17, 2013 - 5:02 pm

    [Facebook has over a BILLION active users so it is highly advantageous for authors to use it, but it's a tool. We need to use tools properly or we will wear ourselves out and look stupid...like using a nail gun to slice a pork roast. Makes a mess, is ineffective and renders said victim pork roast inedible.]

    My mother does not have an electric oven so the pork roast with skin is chunked and fried in 100% coconut cooking oil. The pork skin is crunchy and the meat is tender. A BILLION active users, it is better than the foot traffic of the third largest mall in the world with a bookstore.

  25. #36 by Katie Cross on July 17, 2013 - 5:17 pm

    Oh, I love your advice, as always.

  26. #37 by Diana Shallard on July 17, 2013 - 6:45 pm

    I agree wholeheartedly that you can’t just focus on one audience (esp. fellow writers), nor can you rely on just family and friends (a la those direct sales “parties”). I’ve found that the more I engage with those whose subject matter relates to my WIP (namely travel, Europe, study abroad, music and the 90s) the easier it is to find an audience already interested in my future book -they just don’t know it yet. ;-)

  27. #38 by KJ Waters on July 17, 2013 - 6:58 pm

    Kristen, great article and I’m glad to know I’m doing something right here. My facebook is mainly focused on things I like, water, humor, ocean pics, and go well with my branding of my blog (Blondie in the Water) and hanging out with fun like minded people. I plug my blog a few times a week and don’t have a book to market quite yet. Very good to know that I should keep my author page and that it’s not nearly as important as my personal page. That’s about how I’ve handled it.

    Love all the comments from your readership. Would love to get to your level of blogging. I’ve read early articles about finding readers with the blog instead of, as you say, being an expert on writing. I hope my social media strategy is doing that — it’s my plan anyway.

    Love your blog and have become a new fan. Appreciate all your advice!!

    KJ Waters

  28. #39 by Lynnette Conroy on July 17, 2013 - 7:58 pm

    Inbreeding. Yes, THIS! I found that I kept seeing the same recycled material over and over again. Especially within FB pages circles and Triberr. I do keep most of my writing forays off my regular FB page, as half my family would disown me if they saw the posts on my blog. I work under the premise that if you are an ass, I will represent you that way when telling a story. But I don’t want to rub faces in it, either. So real life me and writer me live separate lives, and will until my mother passes on. But within Triberr, I found the same writers over and over, until I broke ranks, started my own Zietgeist Tribe that is deliberately NOT single topic based, but merely things I find interesting, enlightening or funny. I figure I’d rather push out posts that I love, because I love them, than just because I am in a tribe that shares similar interests. Hopefully my Twitter followers are happy to see more variety headed their way soon. And I have just begun, but have already met some totally new people that I like a lot.

    Fresh blood! How exciting.

    And a Bruce Campbell thread? *sigh*

  29. #40 by David Erickson on July 17, 2013 - 8:45 pm

    Good article. I’m a center-of-the-road liberal and I get a lot of comments on my posts. I only get a few strong conservatives responding, but when I do we do get a lively conversation going. My posts are varied, so I’m not stuck on a theme and there are so many writers that just talk about their writings That I don’t think I need to add to that clutter.

    Does it help or hinder? I don’t know yet, but at least I’m getting people to look and respond.

    Just got to get my new website up and running, which will fix the problems with the old and then we’ll see if FB is really working for me.

  30. #41 by Brenda Harris on July 17, 2013 - 9:36 pm

    Funny how I was just talking to a stranger on LinkedIn today. I mentioned that the story she’d written sounded interesting, next thing you know we’re talking about Sheldon (Jim Parsons) in the Big Bang Theory and how my sister was friends with him in college. Hmm, from your advice, sounds like I need to have fun on FB, too. I’m glad cause I’m really awful when it comes to trying to sell people on my book and services. Thanks. :)

  31. #42 by donnajeanmcdunn on July 17, 2013 - 10:18 pm

    Great advice Kristen. I think I’m doing some things right because I try to use what you have been trying to teach us since I began my journey as an author. Thank you and I will buy your book when it comes out in paperback. Mine can be found …just kidding! Anyway, I think I’d get more use out of it as a paper copy, even though I love my Kindle.

  32. #43 by Diana Staresinic-Deane on July 17, 2013 - 10:30 pm

    Great post. And the part about everyone wanting to be a writer made me laugh. As I worked with various organizations to schedule events and place my book in local stores, I was astonished by how many people confided to me over the phone that they’ve always wanted to write and book and then proceed to tell me about that book.

    I do have a question: I used kickstarter to raise the funds to publish my book. (It was a success!) I created a facebook page for that book in order to keep it focused and I now have an established and interactive audience. The problem, of course, is that I am working on the next book. Can that page be turned into an author page? Or should I just create a new page? I hate to lose people in the transition.

    • #44 by Lisa Hall-Wilson on July 18, 2013 - 9:23 am

      Once you have 100 fans you can’t change the name of the page. You can change the custom url once. If you have two pages with close or similar names, you can merge the smaller fan page into the larger one. Otherwise you’re out of luck. You can appeal to the FB gods, but don’t hold your breath. It’s always best to create an author page, then you can post about whatever books you’re writing, your blogs – you’re not stuck talking about one thing only. Good luck.

      • #45 by Diana Staresinic-Deane on July 18, 2013 - 11:47 am

        Lisa, thanks so much for the response. I will work on a way to transition to an author page that incorporates the more personal approach.

  33. #46 by Kali Anthony on July 17, 2013 - 10:34 pm

    Have, up to date, been completely social media illiterate. As I’m starting out on this writing caper, your blogs are a lifesaver! Off to buy your book, and to learn more about the Sharknado move which up until now, has totally passed me by, but which I suspect I need to know more about!

  34. #47 by coachdaddyblogger on July 18, 2013 - 10:00 am

    I think when we want to use Facebook and other social media as tools to promote our writing, we forget that they are SOCIAL networks. If all I do is spam out my fare and token fare of others, my potential readers aren’t going to know me beyond an avatar.

    Socially is so much more fun than spammily, and the first will make people more likely to see what else I have to say. I learn a lot from you, KL.

  35. #48 by LeAnne Bristow on July 18, 2013 - 10:13 am

    Great post. YES! Engage us common folks! We want to know about the goofy things your child/cat/dog/fish did. However, one of my pet peeves for writers that I follow is when they start using their FB to push their own political or social views. There are many writers that have completely turned me off to their books because of things they have posted on their FB. I’m not counting pictures they’ve shared or liked, I’m talking about rants they go on about different things. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if I find out someone’s values are completely against my own, I can no longer bring myself to support them. Is that shallow of me?

    • #49 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 18, 2013 - 10:18 am

      No I preach against this in my books. Giving people indigestion won’t make them want to buy books. Besides, if we wanted to be upset we’d be watching CNN or FOX not hanging out on FB.

  36. #50 by Sophia Kimble on July 19, 2013 - 8:02 am

    Awesome post. Very insightful information colored with humor. Thank you.

  37. #51 by Thomas Rydder on July 22, 2013 - 7:11 am

    Kirsten, you’ve listed some of the very mistakes I’ve made during my first year or so in social media. When I was getting me debut novel ready, started a blog, got on facebook, and all the rest. And, on facebook, of course, I levitated to where I thought I should be – writers’ groups – and expected them to shout my name from the rooftops. Took me a little while to realize we are all working toward the same thing, and even though they might lend moral support, they ain’t gonna do what readers will. And you’re right – but you don’t need me to tell you this – it ain’t selling your stuff…it’s selling you.
    This article was duly blogged, faced, tweeted, linked, tumbled, and stumbled :)

    Thomas Rydder
    Author of “The Clearing”
    http://thomasrydder.wordpress.com/

    • #52 by Author Kristen Lamb on July 22, 2013 - 8:14 am

      Thomas, WE ALL made these mistakes, LOL. It’s learning from them and then tinkering until we figure out what works. Looking to others who can help, who know how to get where we are going. Thanks for the comment and fabulous to meet you!

  38. #53 by evanatiello on July 22, 2013 - 7:22 am

    I have been wrestling with the “fan” page idea, but this is the best information I’ve read on why author’s should keep it “personal”! thanks.

  39. #54 by Seumas Gallacher on July 22, 2013 - 7:24 am

    Reblogged this on Seumas Gallacher and commented:
    FABULOUS<…FABULOUS… FABULOUS… I haven't seen abetter article/post,commentary on Facebook than this.. LUV IT, Kirsten !! re-blogging.. the WURLD should read this :))

  40. #55 by Stacey Haggard Brewer on July 23, 2013 - 8:46 pm

    After reading this, I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing away with my (mostly neglected) fan page — or at least hiding it until I actually NEED it. You always make lots of sense and make everything super easy to understand. Thank you!

    P.S. Sorry I missed the Sharknado party. :(

  41. #56 by Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) on August 16, 2013 - 10:23 am

    Kristen, you indicated that family will ignore what they don’t like, but you underestimate MY family. They don’t ignore anything I ever post. They get huffy and ugly and hurtful and angry. They respond. They demand I remove my posts. They turn Facebook status updates into real-life arguments. I am not free to be personal, to be ME, on my own personal page. THAT is why I have a Fan Page. To escape my family. They literally bully me into NOT writing my personal thoughts. That’s not exactly conducive to gaining followers — having your own family turn on you in public. I have been chastised and called out more times than I can count on my personal page. My Fan Page is my only refuge. I *only* keep my personal page as a way to stay civil in real life and to see pictures of family I’d otherwise never see. Otherwise? I’d ditch it entirely. It’s been nothing but a source of pain and humiliation, whereas my fan page has been encouraging and I’ve actually FOUND myself there. I get what you’re saying, and your advice seems sound for “normal” people. But my family isn’t normal.

  42. #57 by Sarah Brentyn on October 18, 2013 - 1:15 pm

    Okay. I just wrote a huge paragraph here and it said “Could not be posted.” Soo…I’ll just say quickly 1. Thank you, 2. I cannot understand facebook, and 3. I believe I accidentally created a “fan page” so can I change this and, if so, how? Thanks!

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