Okay, so a couple weeks ago I was on the fence, trying to decide whether or not to go to my 20 year high school reunion. I’m lying. I was on the roof drinking straight from the margarita machine, and y’all were talking me down. Well, most of you. A handful called me a sissy and dared me to jump because you’re sick that way and it’s probably why we’re friends. Anyway, after much deliberation and candy bribes, I decided to go. What the hell? What’s the worst that can happen that I can’t blame half of you in my comments section for, right?
This is the kind of accountability America was founded on, people.
So to make matters even MORE WEIRD, because high school wasn’t freaking awkward enough, my husband has totally bailed on going with me. Something about the military arresting him if he chooses me over drill weekend with the Air Force. He can be a total baby like that. Can’t even spend a couple days in jail to be there with his wife at her high school reunion. I figure he just really wanted me to have the authentic high school experience where no one asked me to the dance, but since I already had tickets, I had to bribe some last-minute friend or random homeless person to go with me.
Ingrid decided to
take a bullet for me go with me, because she is kind and sweet and it was either go to the high school reunion with me or smother me with a pillow to stop the whining. Ingrid isn’t into murder….yet. But I suspect I might have been pushing that boundary. She will probably do like my mother and come to a rolling stop and shove me out with my backpack and yell something about a neighbor taking me home.
Anyway, I am having a small panic attack because what the hell do you wear to a high school reunion? On the invite? No clues. No pictures and frankly, I only have the movies to go off of here.
So I am guessing my wedding dress is a tad on the “too formal” side, but then I think all I have left is yoga pants and smart@$$ t-shirts. And yes, I am inserting my wedding pictures in here because I am going stag to my own reunion. Here is PROOF that Stockholm syndrome works and can land you a husband.
Yeah, so any of the high school people who don’t believe I really have a husband, here is proof that I am really married…or really good at Photoshop, which is probably more likely for them to believe.
For some reason this look could freak people out at the reunion, and that’s all I need is for security to get involved…again.
Too June Cleaver?
Actually, the outfit above is likely the dressiest one I wear. My “dress apron,” reserved for special occasions like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, twice on Saturday, and Sunday. Okay, I seriously live in an apron.
I feel like the maid! Can’t this place stay clean for five SECONDS?
I have no idea what to wear since I live in Dr. Seuss pajama pants and a Batman shirt. I’m a writer! This is why I love my job! Anything I choose, frankly feels like a Lady Gaga meat dress. So I am opening up my comments for suggestions, and you know you’ve hit a special low-point in life when you are asking a bunch of writers for fashion advice, so if I attend wearing my favorite Sponge Bob t-shirt it’s just proof I am powerless in the face of peer pressure. But lay it on me! I don’t want to be too formal, but I don’t want to be too casual, either.
Help me Obi-Wan…you’re my only hope.
I love hearing from you!
To prove it and show my love, for the month of June, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.
***Changing the contest.
It is a lot of work to pick the winners each week. Not that you guys aren’t totally worth it, but with the launch of WANA International and WANATribe I need to streamline. So I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).
And also, winners will now have one business week (5 days) to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.
There are a couple people I found in the spam folder yesterday, so will be getting edits back to Patricia Morris, Rachel Sullivan, Pauline Jones, and Jennette Mbewe. You are not forgotten. Chad Carver? Send your pages to kristen @ wana intl dot com because I still can’t find your pages.
At the end of June I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!
I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.