Writing Spies: Five Dos and Don’ts

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 10.49.02 AM

Piper is back to guest post once more. I’m scrambling to catch up after being flattened from travel/work. Le sigh. Also have to get my NaNo tools together. Coffee, candy, energy drinks, stun gun, duct tape. So enjoy your Halloween. It’s kind of like New Year’s Eve of the Writing World. Party hard and have your fun because tomorrow….

Anyway, if you happen to be working on an action or thriller or some book involving those of the intelligence community, this post will help tremendously. Great writers ALWAYS do their homework. No one cares about our glorious prose if we goof something that five minutes on Google would have answered. But for the stuff maybe Google CAN’T answer? We have Bayard and Holmes…

By Piper Bayard

Spy thrillers are a staple of genre fiction, and a good “Bond” never goes out of style. However, a bad “Bond” can have those in the know throwing your book out the window of an Aston Martin faster than you can shake your martini. My name is Bayard. Piper Bayard. And my best friend and writing partner, Jay Holmes, is a 40-year veteran covert operative. I’m here today to help you write books that stay inside the sports cars.

Sean Connery and his Aston Martin Image from Goldfinger Many books have been thrown from this car.

Sean Connery and his Aston Martin
Image from Goldfinger
Many books have been thrown from this car.

 1. DON’T let your covert operative announce her identity, or that she is a covert operative.

Cover operatives are . . . wait for it . . . covert. Unlike James Bond, covert operatives don’t reveal their identities, and especially not while on missions. Even decades after they are out of deep cover, they keep their work to themselves. That’s because when they are revealed, former assets and current loved ones alike can become targets.

That also means that, when a celebrity author shows up in an “I’m a Spook” T-shirt flaunting a “covert” career, it’s a dead giveaway that though she may have done some great and necessary work with an intelligence agency, she has never been a covert operative in the field. Covert operatives must forever keep a Chinese wall around their true identities.

2. DON’T call your spooks “spies.”

Yeah, I know. Then what’s with the title of this article? I hadn’t gotten to tell you that “spies” are actually “spooks” yet. I didn’t want to confuse you on that point before you got this far.

Holmes and his ilk are “spooks,” not spies. As Holmes says, “Spying is seamy. It’s what the Russians do.”

Spooks refer to each other lightheartedly as “spooks.” That’s also what military personnel call them when military and intelligence operations overlap. For example, if an intelligence team is working in a secured area of a ship, the crew refers to them as “the spooks.”

There is no official Dictionary of Spook Terminology, but the proper terms for spooks are “intelligence operatives” and “intelligence agents.” By habit, “operative” is used by CIA personnel when they are talking among themselves or reviewing an operation, and “agent” refers to someone – usually a foreigner – who is collecting information in a foreign country. Intelligence personnel are the “operatives” who are managing the foreign “agents.”

Note the spook putting on his seatbelt Not Holmes Image from CanstockPhoto

Note the spook putting on his seatbelt
Not Holmes
Image from CanstockPhoto

3. DO put on your spook’s seatbelt.

Car chases happen, but they don’t happen without seat belts. Every now and then, a spook might have to drive the wrong way up a one-way street or wheel down the Spanish Steps. *cough, cough, Holmes, cough, cough* But when he does, he wears his seatbelt. Religiously. “Because you can’t finish the mission if you’re dead.”

4. DON’T let your spook duck into a doorway to spy on her target.

That’s a good way for a real spook to get dead.

One of the first things spooks must learn about following people is to not be followed themselves. It’s common for bad guys to have their own people tailing them to pick up any newcomers, so spooks can’t only focus on who’s in front of them. They have to be acutely aware of who is behind them, too. If they duck into doorways and peek around the edges, they are making it obvious to anyone behind them that they are watching someone.

That means that if a spook wants to watch someone from a doorway, she has to take her eyes off the target, go all the way inside a building, and only turn around once she’s out of sight of the street. Then she can come back out and stop in the doorway under some other pretense than watching someone. It also gives her the chance to handle the bad guy’s trailing entourage.

 

Rosa Klebb -- Room service gone bad. Image from From Russia with Love

Rosa Klebb — Room service gone bad.
Image from From Russia with Love

5. DON’T let your spook order room service.

How many times has Bond ordered room service? And how has that worked out for him? You’d think he would have learned after Rosa Klebb’s stunt in From Russia with Love that this is a seriously bad idea. Even the spooks in the otherwise realistic movie Act of Valor ordered take out and paid the price.

This isn’t only because of the opportunity for an enemy to poison them, it’s also because it’s generally bad juju for spooks to invite strangers into their space when they are on missions. In fact, Holmes won’t even have a pizza delivered to his house. The only food he actually enjoys is his own, his wife’s, or mine if it includes chocolate, and only then if he is eating at home or at the home of a trusted friend.

These are only a few of the most common blunders that Holmes and I see in movies and books. If you’d like to learn more about writing spooks, keep an eye out for Truth & Fiction posts at Bayard & Holmes.

Do you have any questions? I will answer some here in the Comments section and some on posts over at Bayard & Holmes.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Bayard & Holmes Official PhotoPiper Bayard is a bestselling author and a recovering attorney. Her spy thriller writing partner, Jay Holmes, is an anonymous senior member of the intelligence community and a field veteran from the Cold War through the current Global War on Terror.

You can contact Bayard & Holmes in comments below, at their site, Bayard & Holmes, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

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  1. #1 by Daven Anderson on October 31, 2014 - 11:19 am

    I would have to say that Bond’s room service is sort of a trope, where it’s used as an opportunity for him to defeat more villains and keep the plot moving. I’m sure Fleming (an MI6 man himself) did this to show that getting room service was a bad idea!

    • #2 by Piper Bayard on October 31, 2014 - 5:46 pm

      True, but he’s not the only one who’s done it. I was surprised to see it in Act of Valor.

  2. #3 by Dr. Catherine Al-Meten on October 31, 2014 - 11:26 am

    Enjoyed the article. Great reminders.

  3. #5 by spartacus2030 on October 31, 2014 - 12:28 pm

    Does the man never brown bag his lunch? It’s a silly plot when you figure, all someone has to do is poison his hot dog… Women only watch for his hot dog anyway. And don’t let the likes fool you. Most people here can’t read beyond five words or they get a headache and throw up! And another thing. When are they gonna get rid of that old crow that keeps ordering him to kill himself? Must be a British thing… Stiff upper lip and all… Besides, Sean is Scottish! He must have got into the spy business with a fake passport…

    • #6 by Piper Bayard on October 31, 2014 - 5:56 pm

      Bond stories are so delightful because they don’t take themselves seriously.🙂

  4. #7 by dianamcc on October 31, 2014 - 1:00 pm

    Wonderful post! In this electronic age, do agents, spooks etc. use throw away cell phones?

    • #8 by Piper Bayard on October 31, 2014 - 5:48 pm

      Thank you, and yes. Spooks use disposable cell phones. I know our characters keep a selection on hand.

  5. #9 by sbjamestheauthor on October 31, 2014 - 2:06 pm

    Thanks for another informative article! Add for today being like new years eve for writers, that’s actually pretty apt, since I’m going out tonight to celebrate before I’ve got to jump into the NaNoWriMo grind. Have a good one!

    • #10 by Piper Bayard on October 31, 2014 - 5:50 pm

      Glad I could be helpful. Best of luck with NaNoWriMo!

  6. #11 by Fit_Singer on October 31, 2014 - 2:11 pm

    I really enjoy your writing. Thank you for the tips and slight humor for how-to’s. The Bond movie analogies are great! Gave me a smile and a chuckle.

    • #12 by Piper Bayard on October 31, 2014 - 5:51 pm

      Thank you. So glad I could give you a smile.🙂

  7. #13 by Jess on October 31, 2014 - 2:52 pm

    I’ve never written anything about spies, but this is great info. I’m participating in nano too🙂

  8. #15 by lee west on October 31, 2014 - 6:45 pm

    Bond film. I forget the name. Starred Sean Connery, I think. Bond, nestled up tableside, whips out a silver lighter with 007 engraved on it. Camera zeroes in… Yikes! If I did that with one of my characters, I’d have to hang myself in my broom closet. But that’s Hollywood, not Ian Fleming.

    • #16 by Piper Bayard on November 1, 2014 - 9:16 pm

      LOL. So true. Hollywood did a great deal with the development of the pop culture Bond.

  9. #17 by Iris Woodbury on October 31, 2014 - 7:54 pm

    Great post and good luck with Nano!

    • #18 by Piper Bayard on November 1, 2014 - 9:17 pm

      Thank you. Every month is NaNo around my house, but I will be starting a new WIP this week. May your muse be generous with you.

  10. #19 by vsvevg on November 1, 2014 - 12:04 pm

    Reblogged this on VSVEVG (very simple very easy very good) and commented:
    And they’re off! Another great NANO post from Kristen Lamb. I won’t be participating this year, I’ll be busy with my first ever paid(!) writing job. I’m with you in caffeinated, unkempt, spirit Nanoites. Write on!

    • #20 by Piper Bayard on November 1, 2014 - 9:18 pm

      Congratulations on your first paid job. Woot! Woot! Thank you for the reblog.

      • #21 by vsvevg on November 3, 2014 - 8:14 am

        My pleasure Piper, I’m very thankful for all the information you share. Thanks for the woots🙂

  11. #22 by Giana on November 1, 2014 - 3:10 pm

    This is so interesting, even though ‘spooks’ is still a funny word for me xD Question: if a spook has to stay at a hotel, what does s/he eat then?

    • #23 by Piper Bayard on November 2, 2014 - 11:10 pm

      It depends on how long they will be there. If they are passing through, they can go to a restaurant in a different part of town. If they are setting up for a while, they have to be careful not to become regulars anywhere. Grocery stores are handy, too, but again, they can’t be regulars at any one store. . . . Good question!

  12. #24 by J. Curtis Cook (@brandontherocks) on November 2, 2014 - 11:47 am

    Here’s one you might want to throw out the window of your Aston Martin:

    http://www.lulu.com/shop/j-curtis-cook/brand-on-the-rocks-the-privatized-super-spy-parody-thriller/paperback/product-21876912.html

    Just be sure your target is good and your aim is true.

  13. #26 by Piper Bayard on November 2, 2014 - 11:10 pm

    It depends on how long they will be there. If they are passing through, they can go to a restaurant in a different part of town. If they are setting up for a while, they have to be careful not to become regulars anywhere. Grocery stores are handy, too, but again, they can’t be regulars at any one store. . . . Good question!

  14. #27 by Raani York on November 5, 2014 - 4:29 pm

    I bought Risky Brides but haven’t yet started to read it. I will try my best to get there. I’m really curious!🙂

    • #28 by Piper Bayard on November 8, 2014 - 10:11 am

      Thank you, Raani. I hope you enjoy it.🙂

      • #29 by Raani York on November 8, 2014 - 7:34 pm

        I’m sure I will.🙂

  15. #30 by Andy McKell on August 4, 2015 - 4:36 am

    In a different medium, I am amazed how many TV superheroes reveal their secret identities to anyone they meet. What part of the word “secret” do the scriptwriters not get?

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