Dr. Twuth–Conquering the Fear of Public Tweeting

Welcome to Twitter Tuesday with Dr. Twuth. The tips offered here are all based off my #1 best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

So who is Dr. Twuth? Heard of Dr. Ruth, Sex Therapist? Well, today I am introducing you to my alter ego Dr. Twuth, Text Therapist (Dr. Twuth is accredited by one of the best mail-order PhD universities in the Bahamas. She isn’t a real doctor, just plays one on the Internet).

Have a question about Twitter? A problem? A sticky wicket? Let Dr. Twuth help, because the Twuth will set you free.

Dr. Twuth–Putting the “smart” back in smart phones.

On to our tweeps in need…

Dear Dr. Twuth,

I think I’m a Twitter “Wallflower.”  You know, that person at the party who is too shy / freaked-out / just plain dumb to reach out?  That’s me. I really don’t know where to start.  I’ve been watching and learning all kinds of great info from the sidelines, but still, I haven’t worked up the nerve to jump in and participate.   Ugh!

And would you believe I’m a live performing rocker chic??
I know, crazy!

I could spend hours psycho-analyzing my issue (believe me, I’ve done it while holding up that Tweetdeck wall as everyone else happily Tweeted away), but enough about me.

Can you offer some easy-to-follow steps to get me jump started, please?

Many thanks,
Twitter Wallflower

Dear Wallflower,

Now that we are in the Information Age, Digital Age Authors face a new problem. In the olden days when people actually spoke to each other in person, many writers had a fear of public speaking. In fact, for many of us, it was our abysmal social skills beyond the world of Dungeons and Dragons that prompted our career choice in the first place.

This fear of public speaking, however, has now transformed into a digital phobia recognized by only the most highly trained armchair psychiatrists as Tweetaphobia Neurosa–or the fear of public tweeting. Many regular people suffer from Tweetophobia, but it is far more pronounced in the writing communities.

Why?

Writers seem to suffer the worst, namely because apparently the world at large assumes we all spell perfectly and never goof on grammar. There seems to be an unfair burden placed on writers to always be witty, interesting or profound. Sort of like how people expect comedians to be knee-slapping funny ALL THE TIME.

You’re a Clown Fish. Tell us a joke!

Since writers have the job of being interesting for an entire book, we tend to feel like we need to be equally riveting in life. It is this kind of pressure that, if left unchecked, can create the tweeting anxiety.

There is another problem.

To battle fear of public speaking, there is the age-old trick of just envisioning the audience wearing nothing but their underwear. For writers, this could be dangerous since most writers have an entire social network comprised of other writers…who probably rarely ever get out in the sun (and who probably really are in nothing but their underwear. Just ask @ChuckWendig). The mental image alone of so many pale-as-a-plucked-albino-chicken writers could cause retinal damage.

So what to do?

First of all, relax. People can expect us to never misspell a word or be fascinating in every tweet, but, hey, life is full of disappointments. We never help others understand that writers are indeed human if they never see us acting like humans. The cool part about being a person is that readers (non-writers of the human species) start to connect with us and that is always good.

Another tactic for combating Tweetophobia is to rely on your social media butterflies to plug you in. This activates what I like to call The Law of the Playground.

Remember being a kid and new to a grade? When you would go out for recess, what was the first thing on the agenda? Find someone you knew. Once you could find that person you already knew, making connections got easier. It suddenly became easier to befriend people because of the Law of the Playground.

I don’t know you, but Kristen knows you. I like Kristen, so I like you.

This Law of the Playground was one of the reasons I created the #MyWANA group. This is the place where you are guaranteed to connect to other Playground Connectors and WE will plug you into the Twitterverse at large. Not only will we instantly make you part of our twibe, but all of us have networks beyond #MyWANA and we can introduce you there as well.

The key to feeling comfortable on Twitter is to have a host or hostess introduce you around. Once we start chatting with others as people, this alien place–Twitter- seems far less scary and the anxiety will dissipate. Tweeting will then come MUCH easier.

As far as what to tweet? I have another law. I call this The Law of Three. Tweeting should be roughly 1/3 Information–links to blogs, articles, web sites, 1/3-Reciprocation (RT for others and a lot of times Information and Reciprocation can blend together), and, finally, 1/3 Conversation. TALK to people! If all we tweet are links and cutesy quotes, we look like a bot. Show others you are a person, too.

Humans have a hard time connecting emotionally with bots, but we really dig connecting with other people. Once we connect, we support because you are our peep…and THAT is how platforms get built. Just remember, there is no reason to be shy or nervous on Twitter. We are not alone! #MyWANA is a hashtag designed for the sole purpose of immoral support. Once part of a group, our confidence improves dramatically and tweeting will feel as natural as breathing.

Best of Luck!

Dr. Twuth

See how easy this is? Do you have a Twitter or social media dilemma? Leave your question in the comments or if you would like to maintain anonymity, e-mail Dr. Twuth’s slave assistant at kristen at kristen lamb dot org. Just put GIVE ME THE TWUTH in the subject line.

Dr. Twuth is all about love and offering a human touch to this digital world. Dr. Twuth is #MyWANA certified, or certifiable, I can’t recall which. But, hey, it’s free so if you don’t like her advice, she will give you 100% refund (There will be a $15.99 processing fee for said refund).

Let Dr. Twuth help you out. Remember, the Twuth will set you free.

Tweet ya later!

Dr. Twuth–The Twuth about Twitter Pics

Welcome to Twitter Tuesday with Dr. Twuth. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

So who is Dr. Twuth? Heard of Dr. Ruth, Sex Therapist? Well, today I am introducing you to my alter ego Dr. Twuth, Text Therapist (Dr. Twuth is accredited by one of the best mail-order PhD universities in the Bahamas. She isn’t a real doctor, just plays one on the Internet).

Have a question about Twitter? A problem? A sticky wicket? Let Dr. Twuth help, because the Twuth will set you free.

Dr. Twuth–Putting the “smart” back in smart phones.

On to our tweeps in need…

Dear Dr. Twuth,

When I had my avatar image taken my hair was long (oh how I miss my hair) A while back I had it all cut off ( I do this every 3 yrs or so. Don’t have a clue why) and now my hair is very short. I had new pics taken a few weeks ago, but I’m not crazy about how I look with short hair and have put off changing my avatar since I am, as we speak, wishing upon stars, fallen eyelashes, pennies found on heads and any other crazy suspicion known to man that might help my locks grow overnight.

True my question is based on vanity…I’m sure there are loads of truly important questions in this comment segment that you would rather answer, but Dear Dr. Twuth, should I leave my long haired and preferred avatar alone or should I replace it with my updated image?

Crazy for the Coif in Georgia. 

Dear Crazy,

Ideally our avatar should be of our face. I, personally find it distracting to try and have a conversation with a man’s muscled chest, in life and on Twitter (with a 6’6″ hubby, I have to stand on steps sometimes). I know romance authors love to put pictures of hot guys as their avatars, but mentally it is jarring to see a picture of a Chippendale’s model next to the name Jennifer or Susan. It’s just WEIRD.

What is even worse is when there is a picture of a hot guy and the author has a gender-neutral name like Carol or Sam. I find myself having to rewrite tweets to them so I don’t have to use a gender pronoun. I know I have a 50-50 chance of guessing the right sex, but why publicly embarrass myself?

I have a peep on Facebook who has a pic of a beautiful woman, but the name is a man’s. There are times I want to comment on something, but don’t know how to. I am too afraid I might mistake this author’s gender and embarrass both of us in a very public way.

So the best answer is use a picture of yourself that at least closely resembles you. Twitter is about a conversation and creating a sense of intimacy. In life, we don’t walk around wearing book-covers on our faces or dressed like Johnny Depp, and most of us don’t cross-dress so people don’t know whether to call us “Sir” or “Ma’am.”

Okay, again, @ClayMorganPA IS the standard exception. He and @KerryMeacham dig the pirate boots and cutlass and @ChuckWendig is a total instigator. What can I say?

Anyway…

If we went to a cocktail party, we wouldn’t introduce ourselves as Dragon Girl or Procrastinating Writer. We would use our names so people could know us and possibly become our friends. Twitter is no different. In fact, those who are the most authentic generally reap the greatest reward, and why wouldn’t they? If we don’t know your real name or even what you look like, how emotionally vested can we become?

Hiding behind cutesy monkiers and cute pictures is emotionally distancing and it is the habit of people playing on Twitter, not professionals. If we look up any NY Times best-selling author on Twitter, I guarantee you they have their NAME and a nice picture (likely the one used on the back of their books). If we hope to one day be like these authors, it only helps to learn what we can from them. Besides, many agents are now googling authors who query. Who will they meet if they google you?

In the end, long hair, short hair, no hair, it doesn’t matter. Just make sure the picture resembles you and that it is smiling and inviting. We are writers, not supermodels. So long as we have one head and two eyes and look friendly, we’re good (those with two heads or one eye are excused from using a picture).

All the best,

Dr. Twuth

See how easy this is? Dr. Twuth is all about love and offering a human touch to this digital world. Dr. Twuth is #MyWANA certified, or certifiable, I can’t recall which. But, hey, it’s free so if you don’t like her advice, she will give you 100% refund (There will be a $15.99 processing fee for said refund).

So gripe away and leave your woes in the comments for the expert rank amateur with candy. Let Dr. Twuth help you out. Remember, the Twuth will set you free.

Tweet ya later!

Twitter Tuesday–The Twuth Will Set You Free

Welcome to Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

Today we are going to take a Twitter Time Out and let you guys share your griefs about Twitter. Heard of Dr. Ruth, Sex Therapist? Well, today I am introducing you to my alter ego Dr. Twuth, Text Therapist (Dr. Twuth is accredited by one of the best mail-order PhD universities in the Bahamas. She isn’t a real doctor, just plays one on the Internet).

Have a question about Twitter? A problem? A sticky wicket? Let Dr. Twuth help, because the Twuth will set you free.

Dr. Twuth–Putting the “smart” back in smart phones.

I figure we have had almost thirty Twitter Tuesday lessons, why not let you guys chime in? So bring it on. Give me your Twitter woes and then Dr. Twuth will pick the best ones for the Twitter Tuesday posts. For instance:

Dear Dr. Twuth,

I get so nervous on Twitter. I feel like everyone is going to think I’m crazy and will laugh at me.

Signed,

Hopeless Tweeter

Dear Hopeless Tweeter,

Just go make friends with @PiperBayard. She is the Twitter social butterfly and can introduce you to…everyone. No, seriously, like she knows everyone on the planet, even little pygmies who just got their first smart phones in the African bush. Piper can show you the ropes. Also, @DonnaNewtonUK is another must-have peep. She is amazing and brilliant and can tweet the ear off a statue.

These Twitter gals will have you laughing so hard you will forget your social insecurities. Also, one final benefit is that, next to Piper and Donna, you will likely look super normal. Hey, it’s why I hang out with them.

Twust me.

Good luck!

Dr. Twuth.

See how easy this is? Dr. Twuth is all about love and offering a human touch to this digital world. Dr. Twuth is #MyWANA certified, or certifiable, I can’t recall which. But, hey, it’s free so if you don’t like her advice, she will give you 100% refund (There will be a $15.99 processing fee for said refund).

Tweet ya later!

Twitter Tuesday #28–Tweeting Others Special

Welcome to the twenty-eighth installment of Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

This Week’s Fail Whale–The Twittah Playah

Hey, I am a writer and I feel your pain. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. We are supposed to write, read, research, revise and now we need to market too? I can be very overwhelming. Writers are creative people and creative people tend to live in extremes. Either we write 6,000 words a day or we write nothing. This sort of extreme thinking can filter over into social media if we aren’t careful. Being a career author is all about finding balance.

Some Tweeps–the Twittah Playah’–pretty much disappear off Twitter…until they need something. The Twittah Playah is guilty of the Digital Booty Call. See the Twittah Playah ain’t into the commitment thing. He really doesn’t care about our blooks, our blogs, or our day. He just shows up when the relationship is convenient for him to get something.

I have people who haven’t so much as said “Boo!” to me in months suddenly appear out of the ether and ask for help promoting their books. Or they want others to drop everything to go look at their blog. Yeah…we’re right on that.

With the Twittah Playah, it is never about what he can do for us, only what he can get from us (with as few strings attached as possible).

Be a Tweep Scout

Tweep Scouts are the digital Eagle Scouts. Need help crossing the digital highway? The Tweep Scout is there to lend a helping hand. Tweep Scouts are vested in making themselves better. True. But, what makes the Tweep Scout different is he is also committed to serving others and building his community. This tweep has the best on-line manners. He knows how to extend himself in small ways that makes others feel special. This tweep is honest, loyal and treats everyone with respect.

Social media works best when we actively serve others and tweet others the way we would like to be tweeted.

Tweet ya later!

In the meantime, I hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . Both books are ON SALE for $4.99!!!! And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in th biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left over to write more great books! I am here to change your approach, not your personality.

Twitter Tuesday #24–Touchy Tweeters

Welcome to the twenty-fourth installment of Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

This Week’s Fail Whale–The Touchy Tweeter

We all risk being a Touchy Tweeter. Why? Because Twitter is all about relationships with other people, and the laws of probability favor that we will get our feelings hurt. But, I am here to minimize the pain by giving a big picture perspective. It is easy to feel dejected when someone doesn’t retweet our posts. We feel we give so much and yet this person ignores us. Or maybe we sent them a message and they said nothing. There are all kinds of ways to get our noses bent out of shape if we aren’t careful.

What we are wise to appreciate is that some people might not be using the most efficient means of keeping up with others on Twitter. This is one of the reasons I STRONGLY advise that writers immediately download TweetDeck. We are here to build a platform, not chat with 20 of our closest friends. We must have a tool that can help us keep up with hundreds or even thousands of other people in our network. This said, not everyone is yet on board with using information management applications like TweetDeck or Hoot Suite. They may not have a computer and be tweeting from a phone or a PDA.  They could be following ME using traditional Twitter and I tweet a LOT. So my four tweets in three minutes could be pushing others out of view. The thing is…we don’t know. 99% of the time if we are being overlooked or slighted it probably was done unintentionally.

The Week’s Twitter Tip–Be a Gracious Tweeter

My advice is always assume the best. I know there are people I talk to all the time on #MyWANA. Since I talk to them all the time, it may not register in my multi-tasking brain that I am not following this person. Hey, I see them all the time, I must be following them, right? Um, maybe, maybe not. I have even #FFed people I wasn’t following. DOH! Let’s just say it is easy for tweets and tweeps to slip through the cracks. Let it go and don’t get your feelings hurt. Most of us do not sit up all night thinking of ways to make your life miserable. Often we are just trying to do too much at one time and we make oopses. Life will be far easier if we learn to be very slow to take offense, and that’s a habit that will help in life as well as Twitter.

Tweet ya later!

Twitter Tuesday #17

Welcome to the seventeenth installment of Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. My tips will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

This Week’s Fail Whale–Tunnel-Vision Tweeter

My Twitter tips are specially geared toward those who are desiring to build a platform and become a brand. Cutesy monikers will collapse a platform and render all of our tweets meaningless busy work. The only acceptable Twitter handle is the name that will be printed on the front of our books. Readers cannot buy a book from @booklady, so what is the point spending months or years contributing content to build a meaningless brand? For more about author branding, go here.

This said, many writers go try to get their name and realize…It’s TAKEN! And that’s when panic can set in. Calm down. This is the time to get creative. Use all that creative energy applied to dreaming up @pixiegal and apply it to the name you desire to brand.

Guess what? @KristenLamb was taken. That’s why I am @KristenLambTX. I probably could have been @Kristen_Lamb or @the_KristenLamb or even issued myself a license to kill, @KristenLamb007. The point is that followers see what is most vital…my NAME. If you find you MUST choose, the last name is most vital, since that is how people will eventually look up our books so they can BUY them :D.

This Week’s Twitter Tip–Highlander Tweep

There can be only one.

No, Highlander Tweep doesn’t go around whacking heads off the competition.  Stop pouting. Highlander tweep does, however, understand branding. She knows that branding is more than a name. Our name is only half of the equation.

OUR NAME + OUR CONTENT= OUR BRAND

Stephen King, Nora Roberts, Sandra Brown, Dan Brown…not terribly unique names. That is because content is what defines the brand. “Stephen King” was just a very boring name until one writer linked that name to horror so many times that the name, itself, became synonymous with the content (*cough* that’s a brand, btw).

On Twitter there is only ONE special, wonderful, unique YOU. Yes, there are others who maybe have the same name, but they DON’T have the most vital part of the equation…your content. So, feel free to be Highlander Tweep and feel confident that you are the only one…even if other people have the same name.

Tweet ya later! 

Twitter Tuesday #16

Welcome to the sixteenth installment of Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brandwill help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

This Week’s Fail Whale–Uptight Tweeter

When we are new to Twitter, I think all of us are Uptight Tweeters. We have all of this conversation going on all around us, and we feel the need to answer anyone who talks to us… instantly. This is part of how Twitter can become such a huge time suck. We want to create conversations, but then we feel guilty disengaging once drawn into discussion. We are overly polite.

The Uptight Tweeter is so polite, that she is afraid she will offend someone by not anwering right away. To avoid being rude, Uptight Tweeter starts avoiding conversations or even feels guilty if she cannot tweet during the day due to a work schedule.

This behavior, however, will severely limit any benefit pone can get out of Twitter. We need to engage, get in the mix and have conversations. Otherwise, we will be percieved as little better than a bot.

The solution?

This Week’s Twitter Tip–The Chill Tweeter

Chill Tweeter knows, “It’s all cool.” Twitter is a giant cocktail party, but it is NOT instant messaging. Am I the only one who hates IM? That is actually one of the FB functions I could do without. I don’t mind people I know IMing me, but people I have never talked to? I am not going to stop in the middle of my work day to have a conversation. Sorry. Not being mean. I just have a lot to do and am easily….OOH! Squirrel!

…sidetracked.

IM has that “must be tended now and don’t leave me hanging” effect. Why? Because if we miss an IM, we really can’t get back to the other person without converting to a message and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I’m not that motivated either.

How is Twitter any different? Well, when someone IMs me on Yahoo or FB, there really is no way of knowing if I am taking a break. On Twitter? It generally only takes a couple tweets to realize this person tweeting isn’t elbow deep in revisions. How do we know this? They are chatting. If they’re busy? Um…most of us will tweet, “Crap. Elbow deep in revisions” and then promptly disappear.

The cool thing about Twitter is, well, it is Twitter….NOT IM. This is tremendously liberating. Guess what? If people want an instant answer they can consult Google or call 911 (Kidding)! On Twitter? We get to it when we get to it. I regularly take breaks from writing and scan the Mentions column (anything with @KristenLambTX). That is the TweetDeck column for any person who has mentioned me, asked me a question, posited a thought, etc.

When I get on Twitter, the first thing I do is scan that coumn and tie up loose ends. I merely pick up the conversation where it left off. If the other person is on-line at the same time? She can do the same and the chit-chat can resume.

On Twitter? Chill. Enjoy. If people know you work during the day, they will not need therapy if you don’t respond until evening. And if they do? Get new friends. That’s kinda weird to be so needy.

I follow people all over the world, and there is no way I could stay sane if I tried to talk to all of them real-time. I respond to my UK peeps often when they are asleep. But they get back to me the next day just fine with no permanent damage. If you work during the day, you might just have a different group of friends you chat with real-time; maybe West Coasters and some Aussies. They are cool, and they need Twitter love, too.

The thing is that Twitter took the beauty of IM (conversation) and removed the needy weirdness. Yes, IM has needy weirdness. I have been on IMs where the other person just…vanished and I spent the rest of the evening thinking I had ticked the person off or in some way offended them.

On Twitter, people respond if and when they can and no one takes offense. Well, they shouldn’t take offense. It’s Twitter, not dating. So calm down, and chill, bay-bee.

Tweet ya later!

Twitter Tuesday #1

Welcome to the first installment of Twitter Tuesday. In the spirit of Twitter, this blog will be short and sweet and to the point. There is a lot of bad advice floating around when it comes to how to use Twitter. Is it because these “experts” are wrong? No, but they may not be giving advice that’s good for authors. The tips offered here are all based off my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. If our goal is to build an author platform in the thousands to tens of thousands, then we will have to approach Twitter differently than a faceless corporation or even the regular person who does not possess a goal of becoming a brand. This blog will help you rule the Twitterverse without devolving into a spam bot.

This Week’s Fail Whale–Unfollowing People for Inactivity

I have recently read some blogs where writers talked about unfollowing people for inactivity. I never unfollow anyone unless they are:

1. Abusive

2. Inappropriate

3. A bot.

Why? Because we never know why that person is being inactive. They could have had their computer crash, gotten married, deployed or been temporarily thrust into witness protection to hide from an evil twin who has ties to the mob. We don’t know! Thing is, they aren’t taking up any room, so why cull the herd? The Six Degrees of Separation is our friend. We could inadverdently unfollow the person who might have made that critical difference in our career. Play it smart and leave it be.

This Week’s Twitter Tip–Download TweetDeck

Regular Twitter is fine for the regular user who is only keeping up with a handful of people. TweetDeck makes it possible not only to follow thousands of people, but also genuinely interact….and it keeps you from wanting to slam your head in a door repeatedly (which is always a plus). Yes, there are other similar applications, but TweetDeck is my favorite and the example I use in my book.

Tweet ya later!